An Unforgiving Heart
Forgiveness lies at the very heart of the gospel message, yet many believers find it difficult to practice. While much attention is given to Christian blessings, promises, and spiritual protocols, it is essential to remember that the foundational key to heaven is the forgiveness of sins—both receiving it from God and extending it to others.
In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches us to pray: “Forgive us our sins, as we also have forgiven those who sin against us”(Matthew 6:12). This is not merely a suggestion—it is a spiritual principle. Jesus emphasizes this again in Matthew 18:35: “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. ”Forgiveness is not optional; it is a prerequisite for entering the kingdom of God, because it is God’s will that we forgive others.
Matthew 6:15 makes this even clearer: “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Similarly, Colossians 3:13 exhorts us to “forgive one another as the Lord forgave you.” This shows us that forgiveness is not just a command but a reflection of the mercy we ourselves have received.
During my time as a missionary in North India, I witnessed first-hand how transformative God’s grace and forgiveness can be. Many people came seeking healing for physical issues like stomach pain and chest burning. Often, once they came to faith and experienced the forgiveness of their sins, they also experienced physical healing—even without medication. This underscores the powerful link between spiritual and physical well-being, and the healing nature of forgiveness.
The Process of Forgiveness
Pastor Tim Keller outlines a powerful framework for true forgiveness:
- Name the trespass truthfully – Acknowledge that the offense was wrong and deserves justice, rather than excusing or minimizing it.
- Identify with the offender – Recognize that you, too, are a sinner in need of grace. This removes self-righteousness and fosters compassion.
- Absorb the debt – Release the offender from their liability, choosing to bear the cost yourself instead of seeking revenge.
- Pursue reconciliation – Aim to restore the relationship, if possible, rather than cutting it off permanently.
Leave out any of these four, and you have not truly forgiven.
The Danger of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness reveals a spiritual blindness to the grace we’ve received. In the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:31–34), we see that unforgiveness:
- Grieves others – The fellow servants were “greatly distressed.”
- Angers God – The king was furious with the unforgiving servant.
- Invites judgment – The servant was handed over to the jailers (or tormentors) until his debt was paid.
Unforgiveness leads to emotional, relational, and spiritual bondage. It creates an inner prison of bitterness and resentment.
The Consequences of Unforgiveness
Refusing to forgive can severely impact our overall well-being. It often leads to:
- Mental health issues such as stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Relational breakdown through unresolved conflict and isolation.
- Physical health problems including elevated heart rate, high blood pressure, and increased risk of heart disease.
Unforgiveness is not just a spiritual issue—it affects every part of our lives.
Conclusion
A forgiving heart is not a sign of weakness; it is evidence of a heart transformed by the grace of God. Just as we have been forgiven much, so we are called to forgive others. Only then can we walk freely in the light of Christ, healed and whole in body, soul, and spirit.
“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” – Mother Teresa.